I wasn’t so sure I should upload my last video, as it is rather controversial and risky in terms of sounding a bit over the top. I want to clarify… I made these videos last summer, simply exploring different elements of my story, in order to get more grounded and clear myself as to what I wanted my book to convey. I am still working this out. But everything I upload here is authentic and firmly grounded in a healthy but open minded point of view.
So I found this other video I’d made and uploaded to TikTok around the same time which I think is more straight forward with some of those paranormal-esque observations; many of which I have also considered might be more rooted in a narcissistic preemptive play than any real concern Evan was having (though he presented it all to me with an assured conviction which at the time I did not doubt in the slightest). So anyway I am uploading this 2nd video in hopes of offering a clearer idea of where I stand with this.
I feel compelled to incorporate it into the story, for, after all it was a very intense part of the end years; however, that being said, without proper closure it’s hard to decipher how or if it actually has any weight beyond mind games. But again this also brings back the idea that even while emotional toying was clearly at play, how much of it was a preconceived conscious effort to cause dissonance? To me, in retrospect, it still seems like that cognitive dissonance was not only mine, but on some level his as well (as the narcissist “man behind the curtain”, like the all powerful OZ, incidentally from Evan’s favorite movie).
Let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for your ongoing support!v
